Those were the words from a friend of mine at the end of a yoga class I taught where I shared that my husband and I had been married for 21 years on that special day. He followed that up with…..you know, birthdays, they come and go…but anniversaries, well you gotta work to get ’em.
I had never really thought about that before, but you know, he made perfect sense. You never had to work for a birthday, they just showed up. Birthdays are a given if you’re still breathing on this planet. You get one every year and in the beginning of your life you just can’t wait for then next one…egging it on to come sooner with a proud, “I’m nine and a half” at the slight courtesy question from your moms friend. Then, as the years go by, you start to wonder why they come so darn fast when all you really want is for them to stop…or at the very least slow down a bit. Your nine and a half, turns into botox and sunscreen (which you swore you’d never wear). There’s just no stopping them, they continue to make an appearance simply because you’re still here.
Anniversaries however, well it’s no wonder we still have them in an age where we’d rather throw things away than fix them. And here’s the thing about marriage: it takes two. Two people to continue choosing love for each other. Two people who grow over time, evolve as human beings, have separate personalities, likes, dislikes, opinions, and food preferences and then do something crazy like make other human beings with their own personalities likes, dislikes, and food preferences…..emphasis on FOOD PREFERENCES. But at the end of it all, they still say to each other: I. Choose. You.
Dr. Phil, I don’t know the answer to “what makes a successful marriage?”. How do you define success in a marriage anyway? Surely it’s not by the number of years.
Babe – I remember clearly the sound of your grandfathers voice with tears in his eyes (and a slight frog in his throat) as he read these words below before he married us. Listen closely, you’ll hear his voice too.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
He followed it up with……”For it’s better to bend, than to break!”
Good thing we both practice yoga…and PS – I still choose you. You’re amazing.